Big Changes and Inspiration
Wednesday, December 29, 2010 at 7:41PM
I'm really looking forward to the new year. I see big changes on the horizon. I need big changes. If I had to think of one word to describe 2010, it would be a toss up between exhausting and unfulfilling. Two rather dismal words, but true just the same. I have never in my life, no matter what was thrown at me, felt so dismal. I need big changes.
I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm a single mama of three. Two of my kids have labels (I hate labels). I rarely get a break, so I feel stretched both mentally and physically. It doesn't do me any good to watch the clock and hope that "Dad" comes home soon, so I can catch a breather...he's not coming. He's not going to help me change the storm windows, or put oil in the car, or take the garbage out either. Nope. That's me too. (Streeeeeeeeeeeeetch)
I'm not going to complain too much (even though that felt good for a second). These are the cards that life has dealt me, and I am going to make the most of it and, actually, I do consider myself pretty blessed in so many ways.
Some of the angst I have felt this past year has been self-imposed. I've stretched myself farther than I ever have before. I have allowed you to see me...my photos, my words, my life. Most of the people I have known for years don't know me like this. It used to take me hours, sometimes days to write something...because it was coming out of me (the real me). I had to make sure that it was good enough. Now I know that because it is coming out of me...it is good enough, but reaching that sort of understanding has been quite a roller coaster ride.
I have been so inspired by this process. I have changed and been lifted by so many others out there on this journey (definitely YOU! if you're reading this). Honestly, sometimes I am frustrated that there aren't many that share this space with me, but I suppose in the grand scheme, I have touched and inspired those who I have been meant to touch and inspire (hopefully, you, if you are reading this). It's all part of the big plan somehow, if you believe in that sort of thing. I do.
I believe in magic. I believe in signs, and all of the signs lately are telling me that big changes are coming. I can't wait!
I am hoping that my word at the end of 2011 is contentment, 'cause that's what I will be striving for.
What is your one word for the new year? Ah, "new". That has such a nice ring to it already.
Reader Comments (7)
Contentment. What a perfect thing to strive for in the New Year.
Best wishes to you in all the big and great things that are coming your way in 2011!
Contentment means satisfied. A great feeling to have. Go for it! You can do it!
Why have I never seen your blog before?!
I'm so glad you stopped by mine (and commented!) because now I've found yours. My blog is similar to yours in where I pour my heart out and remain fairly raw, more so than in my real life. I also sometimes let my ego tell me my blog isn't good enough because it isn't visited often, but then I am really there for the same reasons you stated...to have a place to be me, to process, and hopefully touch someone along the way. I spend no time marketing my blog and do no give-aways, ect.
As you read in my last blog post, I may be teetering on the edge of single-motherhood. It's scary, but if it's going to put me on the path I am meant to be on (yes, I also believe in that sort of thing) then I will accept it and do the best I can. See you around blogland!
You have SO inspired me :) I'm so happy to have you in this bloggy world.
I wish we were neighbors...
One word for the new year? That's a tough one... maybe Create? That sounds good :) Happy New Year, lovely friend!
Dear Kelly-this post has really touched me in a profound way. Your honesty and heartbreak shines through-as does your spirit. My heart goes out to you -my friend-and I can't imagine your path. but I know that you must be a great mom-beacuse you are an amazing spirit. I just know that we would be friends if we were neighbours-but I am so glad we met this way as well. I wish everything that you wish for yourSELF in this coming year...and more than your heart can even hold. Sometimes...life is so very difficult. No-one else can know our heartbreak and pain...but when we share our stories, we hold each other up. I am so very glad that we "met"...you have been a gift to me too. I know just what you mean about exposing ourSELVES on our blogs. Even people I have known all my life, don't know me in this way. But it feels good...and freeing.
So...you are a Capricorn too? My b-day is on the 3rd. THis Sunday-I will be 42.
Kelly-I want to send you a little something...you can e-mail me your mailing address (if it's okay with you)...at soraya.nulliah55@gmail.com
Thank you so much for your comments about my art-once we get settled and I get my stuff all set up (whenever that is!!!), I will mail you a print of one of my paintings-let me know which one you like. xxx
Happy New Year!!!
Kelly, I love your blog for the reasons you stated. You are sweet and real and honest. I have visited (anyone) in a few weeks because I have been busy, but I am a true reader :). I hope that 2011 is filled with love and blessings for you and your sweet family.
Kelly, I can totally relate to your feelings on the past year. I love the way you express yourself and look at the world through the eyes of a creative person. Lets leave 2010 to the past and bring today into focus. A person can only deal with the moments of now. When today is here the past moves aside. Wishing you the very best for all of your todays!