New Beginnings
Monday, January 10, 2011 at 10:14AM
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 46 years old. Egads! How did that happen? I certainly don't feel that old...
I think age truly is a state of mind. I'm sure that 15 or even 10 years ago, 46 would have seemed so old to me, like once I reached that age I would feel like I was on the downward slope of life (like 60 sounds to me now), but in fact I feel the opposite. I feel like my life is just beginning.
In some ways I feel fortunate to have had my kids later in life, because I think they keep me young (except for the days they make me feel 80), but mostly I am fortunate for the unexpected twists and turns my life has taken. It has been a rough road...a road that I never would have chosen if given a choice, but a road that I am grateful for just the same.
Maybe if my life had continued along the same path, I would have grown complacent and turning 46 may really have felt like being on a downward slope...maybe. I'll never know for sure.
What I do know is that over the past few years I have changed, and I have grown in ways that I never could have imagined. I have been forced to look inside myself and see things that I never knew were there, or maybe I always knew they were there and I was just denying them.
The greatest lesson I have learned thus far, in all of my 46 years, is to be true to myself...that no relationship regardless of it's length, intensity or category is worth having if it denies me the ability to be my true self.
This life lesson is rather new to me, and I'm just sorry that I didn't learn it sooner. It seems kind of basic and as important as some of my other life lessons...never do a somersault down a flight of wooden stairs (age 3), never stick a bobby pin into a electrical outlet (age 5), never skate on thin ice (age 10)...you get the picture, but I'm grateful that it finally found me. Regardless of how long it took, I know it now, and I feel eternally grateful for this new beginning.
Reader Comments (2)
Happy early birthday :)
That life lesson? Better now than never to learn it! Enjoy it....
Dear sweet Kelly-happy happy birthday:) This post was so heartwarming and...authentic...and boy! I can really relate to sooo much of it! 46 is not old...it depends on your spirit and your outlook:) I agree with you...each year winds me closer to mySELF, to who I am meant to be...I suspect it is the same for you? And yes!! It is never too late to be who you are, to reach your potential, to fly...to be true. So happy happy birthday and may it be full of joy and wishes, kisses and cake:)
I also read your "one shoe" post (and the link! It really made me laugh so hard!! Which I totally needed right now BTW! xxx