My Heart
Friday, February 4, 2011 at 12:09PM
I was sitting in the kitchen today, looking across the room at the refrigerator...but not really looking at it, if you know what I mean. I was in a cloudy, soul searching kind of haze...not seeking hearts, but seeking answers instead, or more specifically...the answer to the question, "what am I seeking?"...when my own heart jumped right out at me to say "Hello!"
This picture of my kiddos hangs on my refrigerator in one of those plastic sleeve things with the magnets on the back. It was taken three years ago at Christmas time, while we were at Home Depot picking out our Christmas tree, and I laugh when I remember the chaos that ensued right before I took this photo. Pushing the big cart with the tree laying on it, suddenly deciding while I'm standing in the middle of the isle that I needed to capture this moment, wrangling everyone together, sitting Griffin between the two girls...praying they wouldn't let him fall. There's more, right before I took this Griffin stuck his finger up Madison's nose and made it bleed, they were all either crying or complaining, and people were trying to get around us...but what I ended up with was this...this picture that I love, and a moment that I love to remember. It was hard then, but I cherish it now.
When I think of the question, "what am I seeking?" I think my honest answer is a life that is easy, or easier. But why? Looking at that photo of my kiddos reminds me of a time that was not easy at all, and I wouldn't change it for anything.
I think I'm just going to answer my own question now with the word "more". My heart wants more. More experiences, more memories...be they good or bad...but more ways to fill my heart.
Thank you heart, for jumping out at me today and delivering the message that I was looking for.
Reader Comments (2)
Dear Kelly-I just LOVE ADORE and HEART (!!!) this post...actually your past 3 posts but will start with this one! Oh! I totally hear you-so many times I alos wish for things to be...easier...life, emotions, thoughts...but it's all the difficult stuff that rounds out LIFE...and it's the depth and breadth of who we are which includes...the not easy stuff. This pic is too cute BTW and I was laughing out loud at the story you told...they look like absolute angels and who would guess all the hubub!!!
I love your heart-seeking too...and I need to put out some messages to the Universe too...thanks for the reminder!
I think your Embracing Ugly post is soooo cute...and insightful. Yes..."ugly" is beautiful, interesting, different...puls all the memories your couch holds makes it baeutiful (think Velveteen Rabbit!). Hope you are having a fantastic weekend sweet lady xxx
Wow Kelly. Beautiful. I love the way you think, and I love your way with words. I have a hard time seeing things that way....the big picture, deeper meaning, outlook changing way. You certainly have that gift, my friend.
Oh, and beautiful, gorgeous kiddos too!