Quiet Time

I'm not very good at being quiet. Have I told you this before? I feel like I have.

Peace, quiet, stillness, rest...these words are not part of my everyday, but I wish they were. I want them to be. Part of it has to do with what is currently on my plate, but part of it is just my nature.

I am usually like a busy bee; buzzing around here all day long. When I do sit down, I am most likely thinking about what it is I should be doing. There is always something to do, isn't there?

Most of the time I am motivated by guilt, because there is never quite enough of me to go around. I see the parts of my world that need fixing or need attention, and it overwhelms me, so I usually start with what is right in front of me...but I never get to the things looming on the outside. Which is why "sitting" = "guilt" (and "frustration", too).

I know that the right answer isn't to fix what's in front of me first. I know that the answer is to fix what's inside of me first. I know this because the Eagles told me so (these Eagles, not these Eagles). I need to learn to be still. I've been listening to this song a lot recently; hoping to absorb it.

Here are the lyrics...

"Learn To Be Still"

It's just another day in paradise, As you stumble to your bed. You'd give anything to silence, Those voices ringing in your head. You thought you could find happiness, Just over that green hill. You thought you would be satisfied, But you never will...Learn to be still. We are like sheep without a shepherd. We don't know how to be alone. So we wander 'round this desert, And wind up following the wrong gods home. But the flock cries out for another, And they keep answering that bell. And one more starry-eyed messiah, Meets a violent farewell...Learn to be still. Learn to be still. Now the flowers in your garden, They don't smell so sweet. Maybe you've forgotten, The heaven lying at your feet. There are so many contradictions, In all these messages we send (We keep asking)- How do I get out of here? Where do I fit in? Though the world is torn and shaken, Even if your heart is breakin', It's waiting for you to awaken, And someday you will...Learn to be still...Learn to be still. You just keep on runnin'... Keep on runnin'.

Everyday, I am looking for answers...specifically to the questions, "How do I get out of here? and where do I fit in?"...

I know the wisdom of being silent. I know that the answers lie within me...they're lying right at my feet. I just need to be quiet enough so that I can hear them. It doesn't seem like it should be that hard, but it is.

"You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind."- Sri Sathya Sai Baba

I found this quote today, and I was thinking when I read it, with a name like Sri Sathya Sai Baba...it has to be good, so I Googled him. He died on Easter and was buried yesterday. I don't really know who he was, or what he believed in, but I wanted to pay him homage because his words touched my life today.

So...quiet time...I need to work on that...

Comments

[christine e-e]

i agree - sitting makes me feel guilty! why, oh why?? must we mothers feel that way??
i guess it's that we always feel as if we need to "accomplish" some sort of task...