Floating
Tuesday, April 3, 2012 at 10:31AM 
Lately, I've been on my knees, with my head in the clouds. Really, I almost feel like I am a cloud, floating aimlessly in the sky.
It seems like everything is different, yet nothing has changed at all...except, I guess, for me.
I can't put my finger on exactly what has put me here, in a place of peace and silence. I look back, and see not one big thing, but a bunch of little things that have lead me here.
But...silence! The quieting of my mind...I don't think I've been able to do that ever. I've wrestled with it a little, believing that to be idle is somehow wasteful and unproductive, but I've come around to see "the float" is actually taking me somewhere.
I've been in the dark for a long time. Maybe it was depression, or maybe it was just my need to persevere and make everything that's wrong in my life "right". I don't know...
I just know now, that it's not up to me. I know that it's okay, even necessary, to let go. Not just think about letting go, or like the idea of letting go, but really, really let go...
...and float.
A crazy thing happened to me this morning, (a crazy thing happened yesterday too, but I'm going to share that story over at Far Out Farm).
After I dropped Griffin off at school, I turned left out of the parking lot instead of right. I laughed at myself, because going left takes longer, it's out of the way, but going left meant that I was driving down the street I used to live on; a street that I just learned had a new farm on it.
I laughed, because I knew that what I was doing was, looking for a sign (or just being nosey).
Yesterday, I had read an article in our city's magazine about this farm's non-profit venture, to help match those that need food with those who have the resources to produce food. Great idea, huh? (You can read all about it here, if you'd like.)
Anyway, I turned left...
Right away I noticed the funky writing in the sky. I don't know if it was clouds or jet stream, but it looked like the letter 'W'.
Like this...
Of course I kept looking at it. 'W', I wonder what that means?
As I got closer, it didn't look a 'W' anymore. It looked instead like 'U1', or 'Ul'. What was the message? What the heck was the sky trying to say?
I passed the farm with barely a glance, too busy with my head in the clouds. When I got to the stop light, it was clear.
It said 'UP'.
"Ah," I said, so happy and relieved to be able to read sky code...so happy and relieved that it confirmed what I already knew.
I love signs.
Reader Comments (4)
I've been wrestling with my own need to let myself "float". I'm very much the "got get 'er done" type person, but this year I decided to let things slide a bit, to carve out time for myself to read, keep up with the gardens, to get off this computer, and just let myself be. It's a learning process every day, but it it getting easier.
And I feel so productive at the end of the day!
You need to teach me how to read sky code! : )
enjoy your floating sensation!
Kelly! Wonderful, wonderful post! Wishing you a weekend full of 'floating'!
Im glad youre floating now. I know how you have been wrestling with things lately and i know everyone does too, some of us just arent as lucky to begin floating, hehe. Its like just letting go and placing your life in someones elses hands....your path is already created....let "someone" else be the driver and just sit back and enjoy the ride...just float. (easier said than done)
PS is that my tree? You trespassing again? LOL
PSS hopefully soon, if i can ever NOT having something going on or to do, you can come by for coffee to help me with my blog and talk of course.
Happy Easter!!