P.S. I'm Not Sad

I read a comment this morning from my post yesterday, and then my mom called to see if I was okay.

I think I gave the wrong impression.

I'm not sad. Yes, I am overwhelmed, and tired (I fell asleep three times in front of the computer screen while writing yesterdays post), but I'm not in a bad place.

I wasn't writing to say that I'm taking a break. It was more of a declaration of anticipated unreliability.

I think I am learning to honor my limitations, and that is a good thing.

Taking a step back, resting, soaking up input without focusing on output...looking down at my own two feet, and not worrying about what's ahead of me, or behind me, or in any other direction...that's what I mean.

It's funny, the whole reason I wrote that post was in case you noticed that I wasn't around as much, or I wasn't giving it my all. I wanted you to know that I was a-okay.

I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression, and thanks for caring about me!

My mom said she thought sitting by myself in the back booth of a diner sounded lonely. I think it sounds blissful.

What do you think? Do you enjoy a little unengaged people/life watching like I do?

Simple vs. Lame or Table for One

...and, suddenly, I am overwhelmed.

I think it's because the chaos of life rolls on, but my mind and body are ready to lay low, tuck in, and get cozy.

I am short on energy, and short on words.

I want to sit in the back booth of a busy diner, and slowly sip a hot cup of coffee...and just watch.

Things are in need of my attention; my house, my kids, my thoughts.

I want to stop, and stew in those things for awhile. I want to just simmer in my life for as long as it takes, until the meat and potatoes are tender and juicy.

I crave me some simple, and mundane.

The highlights of my day today were...I took 70-something pictures of a clock tower. I reluctantly brought store bought sugar cookies in to Griffin's school for his birthday snack (what happened to my Martha mojo?). A piece of bread I was buttering, fell, and landed butter side UP...that never happens.

See? This could get ugly. I don't have it in me to stretch it any farther than that.

Will you bare with me through my lame period? Or is it just my simple period?

Either way, I'm going to sit here for awhile, and take it all in...(slash) rest.

My Baby is Five!

Crazy Squirrel Days

"If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence." - George Eliot

I had to read this quote over and over before it made sense to me...but I get it now.

I feel like I've been running around like a crazy squirrel the past couple of days, and as overwhelmed as I feel sometimes on a normal day, I am always amazed at how many more layers of busy I can add.

I would love to hear the grass grow right now, it would be music to my ears, but busy is good too.

It isn't, the more I do, the more I feel alive...it's the more I live, the more I am grateful to be alive.

My Bucket List

I was checking in on one of my favorite blogs this morning, and found this very awesome, and well-rounded post.

Why well-rounded? Well, it's entertaining, enlightening, there are contests (you can win trips, $500 gift cards, or a camera!!!), the contests are for a good cause, and it made me think about, AND make a list of the 15 things I'd like to accomplish in my lifetime.

I've been trying, for what seems like forever, to get rid of that "stuck in the mud and spinning my wheels" feeling. I have that constant argument in my head that goes, "Life can't give you what you want unless you know what you want...what do I want?...what do I want?...what do I want?"

So, I thought this was going to be hard, but I actually couldn't stop myself once I got started. I had to pull the reins at 18. Really? That's all I needed to do...just write it down?

So, voila, my bucket list...

1. Own a canoe
2. Establish a daily yoga routine
3. Start and run my own business (products made with my own two hands)
4. Own a vacation cottage/cabin less than 3 hours away
5. Learn to play my guitar
6. Buy and decorate my own home
7. Write a book
8. Raise chickens
9. Learn to cook
10. Travel with my kids (Italy, Ireland, Australia, Mexico)
11. Open an art studio for kids
12. Travel west (Montana, Oregon, Washington, etc...)
13. Travel east (Maine, Connecticut, etc...)
14. Attend Mardi Gras
15. Meet the Dalai Lama
16. Go to an artist retreat or Brave Girls Camp
17. See all of my kids graduate from high school, and be financially secure enough to send them all to college
18. Plant a garden full of flowers, and give them all away

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.