Hope

Hello crickets!  How are you today?

I had a little bit of time to myself during the day yesterday...that hardly ever happens on the weekend, so I felt like I needed to do something, you know, for me.  It's too bad I was in a crappy mood.  What to do when you're in a crappy mood, except try to get out of it I guess?

I have hope that things will get better.  I always have hope!  But, sometimes when that crappy mood takes over, hope seems more of an enemy than a friend.  I've often wondered if hope wasn't the last thing left in Pandora's Box, because it's actually the greatest of all evils.  I mean, what was hope doing in that jar of evils anyway, if it wasn't evil itself?

But, like Pandora, I keep hope trapped tightly in my jar too, and I try really hard not to let it go.

So, yesterday, I went to the craft store and bought some paint for some of the projects I'm working on.  Then, I went to this store in town.  Everything is out of my price range, but it's a great place to look around and get some inspiration.  The jewelry was drawing me in yesterday...

I'm not much of a jewelry wearer, but I do like things that are simple and comfortable.  When I was in high school, I wore a piece of knotted rawhide around my neck (cause I was cool :)) and, really, that style is still good enough for me.

So, anyway, as I stood there in the store examining their wares, I did in fact get inspired.  I went home...turned up the music, and made some jewelry!  Goodbye, crappy mood.

I bought some of those lettered metal stamps last summer with a specific purpose for using them in mind. Now I just might bust them out, and use them for another purpose...FUN! 

I would love to be more of a pessimist...really.  It seems like it would be much less painful, but I can't do it.  So, I will continue to have hope even if it kills me, which it might...

So, that about sums it up for today, crickets.  I hope you're having a nice weekend, and maybe even finding yourself some unexpected fun.

Crow in the Snow

A little corny maybe, but I couldn't resist the rhyme...

 

Spring in My Step

It's after 11:00pm on Thursday night (at least I think it's Thursday...). I'm sitting in my living room, curled up on my ugly couch and watching the snow fall outside.  This morning it was raining and smelled like worms.  Do you know the smell I'm talking about?  I love that smell!  I realize it makes me a bit sick and twisted, but I actually prefer that smell over the chocolate and caramel smell coming from the cup of hot cocoa I have in my hand right now.  I'm tired of cozy, comfort food...bring on the worms!  (I should clarify...it's only the sense of smell I'm talking about here.  :))

Maybe I'm just disappointed in the snow because I found myself a pair of rain boots today at Target for $4.36! They're not exactly my style, but how could I pass up that price? Not to mention they were the only pair of boots in the clearance section and they were my size.  I guess I'll just have to get used to the fact that they're pinkish-purple and decorated with female superheros.  Madison said, "No thank you," when I asked her if she wanted to share them with me.  She said they were too "superhero-y".  Is that possible?  Even though I was more of a Hong Kong Fuey/Underdog kind of kid, I wouldn't mind some "superhero-y-ness" about now.  Leaping a tall building in a single bound sounds not only handy, but fun!  (I think it's the fun I'm after.) 

I'm not complaining...(this cocoa is actually pretty good)...I'm just ready for more days like this. Aside from the smelly worms and my new bargain boots, I spent the day listening to my favorite rainy day music and the UPS man brought me a package. The sound of the UPS truck makes me giddy these days, because I know he's bringing me some of those supplies I was talking about in my last post.  (Are you noticing how easily entertained I am?)  I'm just so ready!  Even with the snow falling outside, I know that spring is in the air, which puts a spring in my step.  I am ready to create.  I am ready for new!

I'm ready to start walking in my new superhero boots! (I just realized what a perfect metaphor this is...maybe these boots are my style after all.)

Of course now I can't resist singing this song...

Are you ready boots? Start walkin'...

This & That

Goodbye, February! Hello, March!! Thank Goodness...

February is a strange month, isn't it? It's the shortest month of the year, but it always feels like the looongest month of the year...at least to me anyway.  But, it's over now so hooray! and somehow that changes my whole perspective even if the weather hasn't changed too much.

I haven't been doing a lot of 'this' lately, meaning blogging.  Griffin has been sick on-and-off for the past two weeks, so when he's home with me I don't get much computer time.  I guess you could argue that I'm the grown up and I should be able to decide when I use the computer, or that a four year old really shouldn't have too much computer time anyway, and I would have to agree with you...except...when my boy is on the computer, life is good.  He seems to have ony two speeds (now that he's learned to use the mouse)...'quiet computer boy' and 'tazmanian devil', so when the days home from school start to add up...I tend to lean toward the former.  I like this kind of suffering much better.  :)

I've also been experiencing something else that's pretty new to me...

It seems that this small, unexpected change in month and every-day-happenings has forced me to spin my wheels elsewhere. It's been a long time coming...this change...but it is finally here.  I placed some orders today for some much needed supplies that will actually get my business up and running.  Ah, finally.  I have been so frustrated with not being able to move forward, but I finally figured out what's been holding me back...

It wasn't time or money or age or anything else like that.  It was me...yep, just me.  So, as I long as I can keep 'me' out of the way for a little while, I should be able to start making something happen here.  :)

Stepping Back

I found this quote over at Ordinary Courage today.  It speaks volumes to me right now as I try to find my way back to who I really am, so that I can figure out where it is that my heart wants me to go.

I have never really been motivated by money or fancy things, but my goal has been to have "just enough" of whatever it is to live comfortably.  Even with that simple goal in mind though, I seem to have lost my way.

I have wrapped myself in goals and purpose and responsibility, but I forgot what it meant to be happy along the way.  This quote reminds me that I need to step back and ask myself, not "what am I doing?" or "why?", but instead I need to ask, "does it make me happy?" and/or "does it bring me peace?"  When the answer to either of those questions is "yes", that's where I need to begin.