Cardinals and Metaphors

Yesterday was a wild and crazy day. It started off with the kids having school, when they really shouldn't have...the roads were terrible. Then after driving Griffin across town to preschool, I came home to find out that they were cancelling afternoon preschool/kindergarten, so at noon, I had to drive back and pick him up. Mix in the usuals, plus a few unusuals, like decorating the Christmas tree and cleaning up a ton of broken glass off of the living room floor (a big, framed picture was thrown fell off the wall, thanks to demolition man), that made for one crazy day.

So, are you tired of my bird photos yet? I can't seem to help myself. I love a good adventure. The cardinal has been eluding me for quite a while. (Yes, I often do nature show commentary in my head when I'm out...She walks quietly through the woods, trying to capture the elusive cardinal.)

I guess all I really needed to do though, was wait for the right moment to present itself. Apparently, cardinals have no interest in hiding when the earth is blanketed in a foot or more of snow. Thank goodness, because they are beautiful against the white background.

I love this photo of the chickadee and the out-of-focus cardinal in the distance. I don't know why though. I looked at it for quite a while, trying to figure out just what it is I like about it. It doesn't have great composition...it's kind of messy...like life, I guess.

I've been searching lately, for something more than cardinals. I've been searching for meaning, and a way to make life better for myself and my kids. I thought I had the answer, and that I was following all of the right steps...not allowing myself to back down or give up, but I was on the wrong path...She walks quietly through life, trying to find the elusive answer.

I've had kind of an epiphany about where it is I want to go with my business, and life in general. I guess all I really needed to do, was wait for the right moment to present itself. I want that cardinal. I see it, bright red in the distance. I'm happy now to live the part of my life that is actually in focus, and know that what I'm hoping for is waiting off in the distance. I think I'm on the right path now. Things are different. There is snow on the ground, and I won't give up until that cardinal is completely in focus.

Never Quit. Don't ever, ever quit. Recognize that stopping now, regrouping to try a new approach isn't quitting. If you quit you'll regret it forever. - Rudy Ruettiger

Snow Day!

I can't believe we're having a snow day from school already, and it's only December 6th! Maybe if we start this thing earlier, we'll get it over with sooner. I vote yes!

In my opinion, there are only two good things about winter...Christmas and snow days. Come to think of it, snow days are kind of like a mini Christmas. Waking up early and getting the phone call that school has been canceled is like getting a present.

I love letting the kids sleep in, and I get very excited about springing the news when they stumble out of bed all groggy and confused. Surprise! It's a snow day! (I might be easily amused.)

It's been a warm, wonderful, cozy day filled with lots of snuggling, chocolate chip pancakes, playing in the snow, and yummy hot chocolate.

(Why do my kids continue to eat snow even when I tell them what it's full of? I guess I can't blame them, I did it too...with syrup on it to boot! Shh.)

Earlier today, I had a special mama moment. I had just finished up washing some dishes, and walked around the corner to a quiet house. That never happens! But, I found each one of my kids separately and completely engrossed in something...their something. I realized, each one of them was doing an activity that exemplifies, not just something to do, but rather who they are. It made my mama heart smile. :)

After checking the weather report, it looks like we may be doing this very same thing again tomorrow. Hooray!...I think. I see a mess starting to build.

If this keeps up, Macy will be selling these necklaces through paypal (to pay for a maid).

Snowflakes are kisses from heaven. - Author Unknown

Christmas Tree...Check

Without much fanfare, we went out tonight and got our Christmas tree. I couldn't image the thought of me lugging the three kiddos to a tree farm, let alone cutting one down. I'd have to sit on Griffin while I did it, so he didn't take off running through the pine forest. Although, if the wolves found him, I'm sure they would welcome him in. He seems to act as if he's been raised by wolves as it is. The last few years we've gotten our tree at Home Depot, and that seems to work out just fine.

I should just make my life easier and get a fake tree, but I CAN'T do it. I'm not sure I will ever cross over. Having a real tree for Christmas would be part of my Bull Durham, "I believe in..." speech. I love having a real tree!

I talked to a friend the other day, who said she felt like a tree killer for wanting a real tree. Read this article, if you feel that way too. Having a real tree is actually better for the environment. So, there you go...guilt free. Trust me, I'm a tree hugger.

So, what's next on the list? Shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping? I have yet to feel that Christmas intensity, but I know it's going to creep up on me.

If you celebrate Christmas, are you ready yet? It's coming.

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. - Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

Little Birds

There is a place where God is for me, but I haven't been there in a really long time. At one of the metroparks near the city where I grew up, there is a long winding path through the woods. Somewhere along that path there is a tiny pavilion, which contains a single bench. You can sit on that bench, and look over the rail at a ravine and a vast opening in the trees.

One day, back when times were different, and walking through the woods alone wasn't such a scary thing, I found my way to that pavilion. I sat on the bench, looking out at the emptiness between the trees, and contemplated my own internal emptiness.

It's funny, I think, how emptiness conveys the idea of nothingness, but emptiness can weigh so heavy on the inside of you, and cause so much pain, that you know it can't be nothing.

As I sat there looking out, little chickadees started landing on the rail in front of me, causing a distraction to my thoughts. They would land, cock their heads in curiosity, and fly away. As time went by, they became more comfortable with me, landing more often, and even daring to fly closer.

I have always been an outdoorsy type of girl. I feel a closeness, or oneness with nature, which is probably why I ended up majoring in the earth sciences in college, so this experience I was having with the chickadees was lighting me up, or filling me up (which is another kind of emotional oxymoron...hmm).

I have no idea what caused me to be so presumptuous, but at one point I actually decided to close my eyes, and stick my finger out like a perch...and it happened. It really happened! A chickadee landed right on my finger. I opened my eyes in amazement. I moved my finger closer to get a better look, and that little bird stayed put. We looked at each other, and something passed through us. An understanding? I won't even begin to attempt to describe the feeling that came over me...I don't think that I could. What I can tell you, though, is that I walked back down that winding path in the woods, quietly giving big thanks to the sky, and feeling a fullness that I had never known before.

Later in life, I found out that my experience was not really the big miracle I thought it was. Some wild birds can be hand fed, so my little chickadee was just hungry, but I guess, in a way, I was hungry for something that day too.

I think hand feeding the birds will be something I'm going to add to my winter 'to do list'. My kids would love that! Here is a 'how to' article, if your interested in doing the same.

Thanks for sticking with me, that was kind of a long story, but it was something my heart really needed to share today. I've been feeling a little empty lately. This morning, the chickadees outside my window seemed to catch my eye. I think a message is trying to get through to me, and the universe is using the ways in which it knows I will listen. Last night, I was rummaging through some old paperwork, and I found a poem I wrote when I was eight, so just to torture you a little bit further, here it is:

Little Birds

Flying through the windy trees
Falling in the endless breeze
Living with a heart of gold
Dying in the winter's cold
Who will save the little birds?
Hate can't save them, nor can words
Think of what these birds are worth
One thing is a beautiful birth
Life is more than money can buy
Why do they kill birds? Tell me why
Joy and music they bring throughout the world
The amazing way their nests are curled
Why let love and nature go to waste?
Later your own medicine you will taste
People and birds have been unlinked
But don't let the birds get extinct

Why is it, that if we are all in this together, so many of us feel alone? Why don't we extend our hand more often in an attempt to feed each other's hunger?

Seriously...How Could I Not?

I did it again. I told you I have no shame. My garbage picking skills were put to the test again this morning. It's not like I was out combing the neighborhood for other people's trash, although maybe I should, because today I feel like I hit the jackpot!

I was just driving down the road, minding my own business, when this stool caught my eye...

I have been looking for a stool, that was not too tall or not too short, for my work area. This stool is (lucky me) just right.

Then, right next to it, I saw this little chair...

Last night, Griffin was over the top with his dumping, and crashing escapades. As soon as I put him to bed, I started researching cause and effect toys for Christmas, because that seems to be the thing he's looking for. But, last night, with all of the discipline I was dishing out, I was thinking I needed a decent "time-out" chair...and voila!

There was this hamper too...

It wasn't something I really needed. We already have a bunch of tiny hampers, but the floor seems to be the place where most of the kid's clothes end up. Maybe this large hamper will be just the thing to help them change their evil ways. :)

The funny part of this story, or the sad part, depending on how you're looking at it, is that my car (a four-door sedan) was already packed to the gills with bins full of Christmas decorations I had just picked up from my storage area (aka my parent's basement). I really need to down-size some of our decorations!

When I spotted the stool, I knew I had to have it, but the chair and hamper...how the hell was I going to fit them in the car with all of the other stuff? That's where the "skills" part comes in, and a whole lot of determination, but seriously...how could I not?

I also find these new found treasures very photogenic as well. It's all in how you look at things, right?

Happy Friday!