Moving Forward

So, yesterday I was in a pretty crappy mood...sorry about that. They say sometimes when it rains it pours, and I say when it pours and the sunroof on your car won't close, on top of all of the other things your stressing about, then a crappy mood is bound to happen.

But, today is different (even though my sunroof still won't close and it's still raining). Today I'm practicing my "eye of the tiger" and I'm moving forward. Can't you just hear the Rocky music playing in the background?

What kind of background music do you have going on in your life right now?

I gave Macy this speech when she got home from school yesterday, so she's feeling much better now...

I'm kidding. I didn't, but I think I will once I practice up on my Rocky impersonation. "Yo! That's how winning is done." My girl knows I care about her, and by the end of the day that feeling was long gone...for both of us.

I know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm sharing my life (good or bad). I'm growing, and changing. I'm moving forward and I'm willing to take the hits, even though it doesn't always feel the greatest.

I heard a story once at a lecture I went to, about a jar of M&Ms. I'm going to totally butcher the story here, because I don't remember how it went exactly, but the message, I know, was to remember to keep the jar full.

(I only had a jar a marbles. Work with me, k?)

Anyway, the message is so simple and so logical. The jar represents you/me, and the M&Ms are the things that we fill ourselves up with...basic needs like food and water, but also things like rest, free time, fun, laughter, success, a haircut, or new shoes..I think what fills us up is different for everybody.

M&Ms get taken from our jar whenever something negative happens...illness, pain, exhaustion, losing our car keys, breaking a nail, etc...again, different for everybody.

The point is, when we keep our jar full we barely notice when some of the M&Ms are taken out and it seems easier to fill back up, but when our jar is close to empty and some the M&Ms are taken out we REALLY, REALLY notice the difference.

When we're close to empty, we take a harder hit because we notice the missing pieces easier and feeling full seems a whole lot farther away.

How is your jar looking these days? What are some of the ways you fill your jar up?

Not What I Expected

 

I feel like I'm spinning. As Macy was leaving for school this morning, she seemed a little down. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "I just feel like nobody cares about me." Wow.

It makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing here.

Based on the response I received from my last post, I'd have to say I know exactly how she feels.

I don't know why I bother to come here and share my life, especially when my life is spinning out of control.

I thought I would connect...I needed to connect, but it's not what I thought it would be and sometimes it just makes things worse...to try and fail.

I don't want to fail my daughter. I don't want her to feel like nobody cares...

This is not what I intended to write about when I uploaded my photos, but this is what came out.

I think I need to stop and focus my attention elsewhere right now.

Thanks for reading.

Wishful Thinking

My little man gave me a run for my money yesterday...

I lost the battle of staying one step ahead by 10:00am, and things just kept going down hill from there.

Here is a list of messes I cleaned up yesterday...peanut butter, 3 bowls of cereal, a box of cereal, popcorn, poop (sad, but true), marker, a can of coffee grounds, 4 smashed eggs, water, juice...I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

Needless to say, by the end of the day I was completely EGGsausted. I thought his extreme dumping days were over. I guess not. Waaaaaaa!

Last night, he was watching this Youtube video (which is probably the best ice cream cone - cupcake receipe I've ever seen)...

After each set of instructions, Griffin said, "Mmm hmm, mmm hmm," like he was going to get right up and start making them.

I'd like to imagine it was because he was feeling a little bit bad for running me ragged, and he thought maybe he'd surprise me with a sweet treat to show his appreciation.

Oh, wait, he can't make cupcakes, we're out of eggs. Darn!

Also, if you didn't already know, April is AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH. Check out this site right here for lots of great info.

I don't know (officially) if my boy has autism. A lot of the earlier signs and symptoms he had have gone away. He gets the same services at preschool (because of his speech delay) with or without a diagnosis...ABA therapy, OT, PT, etc... I have discussed the whole thing with his teacher and her answer is, "It's too soon to tell," and she is the Autism teacher.

Although, I found a lot of my life with my boy on this blog right here, and when a store clerk asked me a couple of weeks ago if he had autism, I flat out said, "yes".

I have a lot on my plate as a single mom with two other kiddos (one with an ADHD diagnosis), so my philosophy is that I will solve each problem, and cross each bridge, as I come to it.

I am not in denial. Although, denial seems like a nice place to be...there are homemade cupcakes there.

Spring in the Hood

Spring is happening here in our little neighborhood. The flowers are in full bloom...

We are outside hanging the bird feeders and chalking the walk...

Life is good right now, so I'm breathing it in and taking note...

"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson

Just Thinking...

It's Monday and it's raining. That's perfect thinking weather. Think, think think. Not about anything in particular, just whatever floats across my mind. I'm trying to keep the negative thoughts out and the positive thoughts in.

Are you a thinker?

Have you ever asked someone what they were thinking about, and they responded by saying, "Nothing."? Nothing! How is that possible?

Sometimes I wish I could quiet my mind. I've tried to teach myself to meditate...to be still, but I can't seem to drown out all of the noise. Can you? At least I know my head isn't full of fluff.

“People who don't Think probably don't have Brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake.” - Winnie the Pooh

I don't mind rainy days. Rainy days and Mondays don't always get me down (Ha!). Sometimes I'm grateful for a day of blah.

(As I'm writing this post, Madison is at a party for school and Macy is standing next to me asking if I will play ball with her. I said, "Just a second, I have to wrap this up." She said, "Why don't you just say...Thinking is believing. So, there you go...)

Thinking is believing and Happy Monday!