Out of Order

In the Now

We had a really great evening with our neighbors. The backyard was full of kids running around, climbing trees, coloring the sidewalks, and playing toilet tag (that was a new one for me).

We were all invited next door for a yummy Libyan meal, and my kids even ate spinach!!! I'm feeling very lucky today...relaxed, and even happy to be where we are right now. I'm grateful that my kids have plenty of friends to play with, and a big, safe beautiful place to explore. I can't wait for summer! How about you?

Quote of the day - It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie

Torn

Clean the house, or do some work? Hmmm. Neither choice sounds very appealing right now. I feel like being unproductive. Good thing the kids will be home soon, then I won't have to decide. I'll get nothing done regardless. :)

Quote of the day - One who makes no mistakes, never makes anything. - English proverb

A Friend on the Path

Have you ever read any books by Sark? I keep finding them at the library book sales, or I should say, they keep finding me. Her books are bright, colorful, and creative (like Sark), and hard to miss on a shelf, but aside from visually jumping out at me, I think her books have found me for other reasons, mainly because I needed them. She is very real in her writing, and reading her words feels like having a conversation with a very insightful, inspirational friend. She wrote in her book, Succulant Wild Woman, "I envision a world filled with women traveling alone and meeting each other on the path." Today, I feel like I met her on that path. I googled her to see if she had a blog, and found the link posted above. I couldn't believe it! There she was, sticking her tongue out and talking about "doing more things badly"! Exactly the commitment I made to myself yesterday. Sometimes things seem too coincidental to be merely a coincidence.

Quote of the day - Whatever coaxes us out of hiding, to write, record, and express, is a revolutionary act. It says that we believe our lives count. Our lives do count. - Sark

Thanks Gram!

I remember the first time someone told me I was creative. It was my Grandma. She was over for lunch one day...I was about four or five. I had brought my doll into the kitchen with me, and sat her down on a chicken wire fence that was rolled up in the corner. I pulled her legs through a couple of the holes on the side, and explained that that was her highchair. My Grandma gushed on about how creative I was! I remember feeling two things - pride, of course, but also a sense of "Really Grandma? It's what I do." My mind has always worked that way, kind of like MacGyver meets Martha Stewart. I have always had the need to create, and while my Grandma was alive, she was always my biggest fan. My gift, I feel, comes from her, not only because of her constant encouragement, but because she was that way herself. She had mad sewing skills, and was always making something for her home or her family. I WAS that way until a couple of years ago, when my life went spinning out of control. I miss the "me" who was able to express my love for my family and friends through handmade things created from my head, heart, and hands. It's what has always given my life meaning. It's who I am, and I have been away from it for far too long. My kids, especially, deserve more than the single, stressed out mother I have become. Certain spontaneous events have been shining a light lately on the path that, I believe, is mine to follow, and I am ready to get back on it. I am making a vow, right here and now, to do less of what is expected of me from others, and do more of what feels right to me. If you hear thunder, it's probably my Grandma stamping her foot in heaven, because I'm going to start sticking my tongue out in family pictures again too.

Quote of the day - My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres (for my Grandpa, who gave me my sense of humor; something else I've been missing lately)